लव मैरिज नीमन बा कि अरेंज मैरिज ( Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage )

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Permalink Reply by Sudhir Kumar on August 7, 2009 at 6:12am

मीरा जी,

सबसे पहिले हम रउआ के धन्यावाद दीहल चाहब, एतना गंभीर मुद्दा के एहिजा उठावे खातिर...

हम रउरा विचार से सहमत बानी, काहें कि (भारत में) ज्यादातर प्रेम-विवाह केहू ना केहू के दिल दुखा के, चाहे ओकरा से रिश्ता तूर के होला. का रउआ एगो अइसन रिश्ता के स्थाईत्व के कल्पना क सकेनी, जेकर शुरुआत ही बिखराव से भइल होखे...? जवन आदिमी 20-22 साल से अपना परिवार के साथ रिश्ता तूर के अपना प्रेमी भा प्रेमिका का संगे जा रहल बा, जेकरा के उ शायद कुछ महीना से जानत होई, त का ऊ ओकरा संगे निभा पाई ?

भावना के रौ में बह के लिहल कवनो फैसला से ऊ फैसला हमेशा बढिया रहेला, जवन कि दू परिवार मिल के लेवेला, ओह में ना सिर्फ सबके मर्जी रहेला, बल्कि एगो आत्म-विश्वास के साथ ओकर शुरुआत कइल जाला, काहें कि हर घडी में रउरा संगे राउर घर वाला लोग त रहबे करेला.

हमनी के भोजपुरिया संस्कृति में त खैर तलाक के कवनो स्थाने नइखे, लेकिन एने कुछ दिन से ई विकृति हमनी के भीतर भी आ रहल बाटे, जवना खातिर मुख्य रुप से प्रेम-विवाह ही जिम्मेदार बाटे, इ हमार मानना हवे... बाकी लोग के राय अलग हो सकेला, आ हम ओकरो स्वागत करब, अगर ऊ लोग तर्क के साथ साबित करे के कोशिस करो.

राउरे,
सुधीर कुमार
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Permalink Reply by Rahul Kumar on May 20, 2010 at 9:38am

theek ba

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Permalink Reply by Team Admin on August 7, 2009 at 11:14am

Meera Ji

Parnam


Bada Nik topic baa ki Love marriage barhiyan ba ki Arranged marriage lekin otne complicated bhi baa.Juna tarh duniya ke Hr cheej ek admin khtir fidemand aa dusra admi ke khtir nuksan dayak hola , marriage ke e duno situation bhi same baa.
Hum ehwa duno condition ke fayda aa nuksan ke discribe ke det bani.

Arranged Marriage

fayda :
- Mai Babu ke sathe pariwar aur ristedar ke khusi.
-Du pariwar ke milan
-Ijjat samman

Nukshan:

-Dahej pratha ke badhawa
-Sadi ke baad pati patni ke talmel naa rahla ke sambhawna
-Individual Pasand naa pasand ke upecha
-aur bahut chot chot baat.

Love Marriage

Fayda:
-Apan pasand ke samman
-Dahej Pratha ke katnma
-Individual aa sistmetic lifestyle
-jati pratha ke khtma

Nuksan:

-Samaj ke manyta milla me paresoni
-Akanki jivan ke badhava
-Samajik tanaw ke vajh se bada nuksan.


Humra Khyal se love marriage me high society me kauno dikkat naa hola jaha well educated log rahela lekin Rular aria khatir arrange marriage hi theek baa .:)

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Permalink Reply by vinod prasad singh on August 7, 2009 at 11:37am

jah tak aranged marriege our love marrige ke bat ba, yeh dono hi tarika thik hai basarte ki paristhiti okara anukul hokhe. kauno rista do anjan loge ke bich jo sambandh asthapit karela okra ke haum sab sadi rup me dekhile. Lekin agar us sambandh me parivar ke our samaj ke log ke sahyog milgailase sabke duniya hi badal jala. per hamara bicharse chahe raura laove marrige kari ya arranged marrige parivar our samaj ke bare jarur sochi. dono hi apna-apna jagah thikba.

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Permalink Reply by Rohit Singh on August 7, 2009 at 12:19pm

Meera Ji,
Charan Sparsh,

Hum ek ladki se bahut pyaar karina aur wo bhi humse.
Bas ee samajh li ki do jishm ek jaan.
Par hamnike pariwar ee samaj k banawal parampara k khilaf na jayeke taiyaar ba.
Aur hum dono apne Mata, Pita ke bhi bahut chahina. unke dukh na de sakila.
Agar hum love marriage karat bani ta apne mai babu k kho deb. Agar arrange marriage karat bani t hum apne zindagi k kho deb.
Dekhi love ta kauno planning se na hokhela na ta vopar kehu k jor ba.
Ab aap batai k love marriage thik ba ya arrange marriage. ( Dono condition me pyaar ki haar hai.)
Marriage k sucess rate ta Apasi samajh par depend ba.

Apka,
Rohit

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Permalink Reply by Mrs.Meera Trivedi on August 7, 2009 at 5:24pm

Rohit jee,

AAp larkee se pyar kareleen, agar wohee se biyah karab to mata pita ke kho deb.nahee to larkee ke kho deb. EE to aapke decide kare ke hao ki aap keke jayada chaheleen. MAta pita to wahee rah jaihaen par abhee agar dusree larkee aapke mil Jay( Aap khoj lenn) to woho larkee ke aap kahab ek jisam do jaan.

Hammar maanee to mata pita ke kahal maan leen aur agar larkee se pyar karat hain to shadee mat kareen. tabai pyar banal rah jayee. Shadee kaila pe jab noon tel lakaree sab ke bhar aa jave la to pyar hawa men ur jave la.

Mata pita aur apkar IQ barabar hoi lekin unkar life experience aapse bahut jayada hao. woh jo kahat hauvain theek kahat hauven.

Larkee badle se aapkar pyar dusree jagah kendrit ho jaai . Par aap jindgee men mata pita na badal paieb. IS sansar men 2 pyar selfless hai. ek teacher aur dusar mata pita. aur sab men swarth jural hao. pratispardha jural hao. Bibi bhee chal javelee agar khush na raheleen par mata pita kam hoee to adha khaihen par larka ke paheele bhar pet khilaihen.

Hammar ek sahelee biya. Baap jabardastee biyah kar dehlan aapan pasand se. koino dusar larka se. 10 Bars baad jab hamse milal to kahlas ki mata pita jo karte hain. theek karte hai. Woh bahut khush rahal. paisa men dubal rahal. aur ookar ashique bas class 2 post par naukreekarat rahal. aab dono natee pota wala baran. mile len ek dusar se par ham aapke bata deen. Larkiya khub dikhawa karele ki ham ameer hain. ( Ab kahan gail pyaar?)Tu gareeb hauva.


Rohit Singh said:

Meera Ji,
Charan Sparsh,

Hum ek ladki se bahut pyaar karina aur wo bhi humse.
Bas ee samajh li ki do jishm ek jaan.
Par hamnike pariwar ee samaj k banawal parampara k khilaf na jayeke taiyaar ba.
Aur hum dono apne Mata, Pita ke bhi bahut chahina. unke dukh na de sakila.
Agar hum love marriage karat bani ta apne mai babu k kho deb. Agar arrange marriage karat bani t hum apne zindagi k kho deb.
Dekhi love ta kauno planning se na hokhela na ta vopar kehu k jor ba.
Ab aap batai k love marriage thik ba ya arrange marriage. ( Dono condition me pyaar ki haar hai.)
Marriage k sucess rate ta Apasi samajh par depend ba.

Apka,
Rohit

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Permalink Reply by Mrs.Meera Trivedi on August 7, 2009 at 5:30pm

Hammar question ba ki duno men kaun better hao? Aapke hisab se?



vinod prasad singh said:

jah tak aranged marriege our love marrige ke bat ba, yeh dono hi tarika thik hai basarte ki paristhiti okara anukul hokhe. kauno rista do anjan loge ke bich jo sambandh asthapit karela okra ke haum sab sadi rup me dekhile. Lekin agar us sambandh me parivar ke our samaj ke log ke sahyog milgailase sabke duniya hi badal jala. per hamara bicharse chahe raura laove marrige kari ya arranged marrige parivar our samaj ke bare jarur sochi. dono hi apna-apna jagah thikba.

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Permalink Reply by Rohit Singh on August 7, 2009 at 6:29pm

Meera Ji,
Pranam,

Raur baat se hum pure dil se sahmat baani. Maa Baap k pyaar k ta duniya me kehu replace na kar sakat. Unke Bhagwaan k rup kahal gayel hau. Apne laikan k aankh me aansu na dekh saktan. Khud raat bhar jaagelan par bachhan k takleef na hokhe develen.
Meera Ji, lekin ek baat batai khali duniyawale kaa kahiyan okara darr se apne bachhan k pyaar k gala ghont deb thik ba ka.
Arrange marriage me bhi dhoka hokhela. Apke saheli k paisa wala mil gayel aur oo apna pyaar k bhula dihali. Unka khatir Paisa Pyaar se badkar rahal hoi.
Lekin je apke dil ki dhadkan ban chukal hau wo k bhula k aap dusre se shadi kaise kar sakeli. Agar aapne shadi kar bhi lee to kya aap apne naye sathi se insaaf kar payengi. Kya ee dhoka na hoi.
Meera ji, agar aise hi PYAAR KISI AUR SE SHADI KISI AUR SE karne lage to EE "PYAAR" PYAAR NA VYAPAAR ho jayee.

Apka,
Rohit

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Permalink Reply by Parmeshwar Kumar Shah on August 7, 2009 at 7:36pm

Meera jee aur bhojpuriya logon ke
sadar pranam!!
Meera jee hamra ke raur article padh ke bahut khusi lagal saath mein yaha par saathi log ke discussion se bahut achha laagal. Sabse Pahle hamni ke sadi se pahle aapan pair par khada hokhal jaruri ba chahe uh love marriage ho ya arrange marriage ho. kahe ke matlab zindagi mein stable hokhal jaruri ba. Doshar baat mata pita ke bhi aapan larka larki ke khushi mein hi aapan khushi dekhe ke paral. Par sochewala baat eh ba ki larka larki ke bhi mata pita ke mamta ke bhule ke na bhayel. Wohi se hamar bichar se agar dunu pariwar larka larki ke pyar se khushi ba aur raji ba ta love marriage thik ba na ta arrange marriage hi thik kahe ke pari. kahe ki larka ke larki aur larki ke larka bahut milli par mata pita dubara eh janam mein na mili.
Best Regards
shah parm

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Permalink Reply by Ashok Pandey on August 7, 2009 at 7:47pm

Meera Ji
Namaskar
Raur sawal aa raur vichar aaj ke mahoul ke pura tasvir saaf kar rahal baa. Humra vichar me humni ka aapan sanskriti ke naa bhulaye ke chahi. Eh adhhar par hum ee kah sakila ki Arrange Marriege sabse jada safal hola, kahe ki okra me reposibilities bat jaali san. Parents jaun jodi khojela oh me unkar log ke apna jindagi ke sara anubhav bhi shamil hola jab ki youth log jawan jodi khojelan apna khatir woh me sharirik akarshan ke jada importance delan. Ekar natija ee hola ki love marriege ke umar bahut jada din nahi hokhela. Aksar love mrg ke hashar jayeesan raua kahle bani Talak me hi hola. Wajah ee baa ki aaj ke jamana me duno jan miya aa biwi kamau ho gayeel badan log. Aa ayeesana me duno ke Ego ke takraw bhayeel aam baat ba. Ihe wajah padata ki love marriege aaj adhiktar safal nayeekhe ho pawat. Waise bhi jawna rista ke sathe Mayee Baap ke ashirvaad na hokhe waisan rista leke aadmi ka kari ? Ihe Bhojpuri bha ee kahi ki Hindustani sanskriti ha. Humni ka ekra ke bacha ke rakhe ke chahi. Kahe se ki Kouno desh ke Pehchan okara Sanskriti se hi hola. Aa humara sanskriti me Behayee aa Nangayee ke kouno sthan nayekhe dihal gayeel.

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Permalink Reply by Mrs.Meera Trivedi on August 7, 2009 at 8:17pm

Arrange marriage men dhokha apnee galtee seho la. Jab aap na dekhab tab hoi. Kahal gaeel hao dekh parakh ke karo. Jab aap theek se na dekhaleen tabai dhokha bhaiyal.
As you said

1. lekin ek baat batai khali duniyawale kaa kahiyan okara darr se apne bachhan k pyaar k gala ghont deb thik ba ka
( In this duniyan waln aapkee mai bap bhee shamil hauven) It depends on you what you choose.

2. PYAAR KISI AUR SE SHADI KISI AUR SE karne lage to EE "PYAAR" PYAAR NA VYAPAAR ho jayee.
Plutonic love is just love it does not need to get married. If it is another kind of love that will need marriage. Scientifically kaheen to ee bas hormones hao ki shadee kare ke chahat hai, Pyar men log ke sukh dukh dekehe ke chamta hove le. Agar ham koi ke ma baap ke dukhee kar dehaleen ya koi ke aapn man baap se chura dehaleen to asal men hum oo admi ke pyar na kaileen.

Hammar sahelee ( Co worker) shuru men bahut roileen. Lekin baap ke revolt na kar paileen. Shadee ke pahile. Baap naneehal bhej dehalen phir shadee theek kailan. Banddok ke pahara pe shadee bhaial. Hamse galtee bhail ki ham bus e mention kaileen ke unkar dulha ameer rahalain. Ameeree gareebe yeh biyah men koi question na rahal.Lekin inkar ashik bahut bariyan rahalen.kahlins ki "Itne logon ko dukhee karke ham log sukhee nah rah sakenge" What ever is your father saying do it. We will still love each other.and they still love each other. She got married in 1970


Hammr ek sahelee rahaleen ( Co worker) je brahmin rahaleen aur musalman se shadee kaileen. 2 the baccha rahal par mai bap se rishta tut gaiya rahal . Aksar rowat rahaleen. kahaleen hamke soche ke chahat rahal . ka ham khoib ka paieb. HAm na Hindu hain na musalman. Sasuralo men paraya aur MAika haiye naheen. She was going through depression. She had children. Biyah ho gayee okre baad ka hoi. 2-4 baras jab mai baap bat na kareehan to shadee ke baad ke pahila 4 baras jo bahut mahatvapuran hola khusee ke mauka hola wahan depression rahee.
Agar aap shadee kar leb kujaat men to raur beebee jab aapke jaat ke logan ke beech raheehan to Rajput na raheehn aur agar apne jaat ke logan kee beech raheehan to Us jaat ke na raheehan. It is a identity loss kind of thing. That is just your wife what about your children? ??????????
Arrange marriage men jo kuch dekhal jale sab yehee khatir dekahal jale ki how many like things. Cast social status economical statu sab easy adjustment and longer friction free married life ke khatir dekhal jale.

Ham brahmin hain. Hamar thinking brahmin hao, hamar khan piyan brahmin hao. Hammar friends circlebrahmin hao. Hab kaise kauno Dusar jaat ke saath aasanee se adjust karab? Kahl hail hao. Birds of the same feather fly together.


3. Rahul Jee aap hamen Pahelle baar Charan sparsh kailan ehee se ham jhat se aapke jawab dehleen. Dubara aap bas Pranm kaileen. "Charan sparsh" "Gor lagee" "Paon lagee" sune ke hiyan dil taras ke rah ja la. Ka bhail hammar jawab hake kuch degrade kar dehalas?

Rahul jee if this is your case I will say there is difference between male and female psychology. man thinking leads them to independency soch lenge MAn baap har jayange ya man jayange.but female is interdependent. Male thinking does not see what after female will think what after. And it is true. Today you get married. How the problem will be solved after the marriage. She has to face the unwanted daughter in law feeling. Kitne papar belane parnege use. Have you thought.


If possible use Devnagree lipi for bhojpuree and teach me how to use that because this bhojpuri in roman it is tiring to read.
Sorry for using english Hindi and Bhojpuri. Here I have to speak french. BANgla and Punjabee bhee main bol saktee hun. Jaise we speak Hinglish ( Hindi+ English) I have used Bhoenhlish.

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Permalink Reply by Priya Pusp on August 8, 2009 at 1:41am

Meera Jee ,

This is may be your view . I am not agree with you . But I would say Everything have it's own fragrance . Each action have own perception . It depends on the person , how he is thinking and and what things he is looking inside the action . So I would say , It depends on , to whom you are getting married . To whom you are feeling love . If the the person is genuine and honest , doesn't matter you are getting married by love or arrange . Of course , it would smell success . Each have same success rate . Even I would say , Love marriege is better then the arrange , Because after feeling love . both the couples takes the decesion to get married , without the dowry play it's role . After love marriege , both the couples takes the responsibilty to long lasting , because they know they would be the responsible , if anything goes wrong between them . But on the contrary , A lot of times arrange marriage is done by parent pressure and it becomes the compromise marriage . since the couple dosn't t know each other , sometimes it increases the crimes in society and also a lot of dowry is given to boy .


The Basic thing is that , if the person is loyal , honest , caring , good human being then doesn't matter how you are getting married either Love or arrange . If anybody is feeling love to anybody , he or she should go ahead . He or she shouldn't cheat each other . Both should be loyal , loving ,caring and onest . This is a theory of Success married life .

Regards
P Pusp

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